So…
As some of you may (or may not!) have noticed, I took a break from blogging. In fact, I took a break from dating. I needed time to re-find myself and to re-prioritize what I want, first for me.. and next in a mate. The marathon match dates were getting to be too much.. and in the end, hurting my self-esteem more than helping it. I had to throw in the towel and stop.. take a step back to better prepare myself for taking a step forward. It was probably the best thing that I could have done for myself.
Just like taking a vacation from work to refresh.. it is beneficial to step back and reevaluate your life. Our employers aren’t the only ones who should give us annual evaluations. With this new year upon us, evaluate yourself. Are you where you want to be.. professionally, socially… romantically? What needs improvement and how must we do to take that first step? Oftentimes, we get comfortable.. and get used to our tunnel vision… and are afraid to let go of something that we are simply okay with or indifferent towards. Or someone who merely fills the void.. instead of enhancing it.
For me, I romantically lost myself somewhere. I started dreading dating… and it showed. On each date, I went in with a negative, jaded attitude.. and then would get upset if he didn’t like me. Even if I liked him.. the more important part, for me, was him liking me. F*ed up, no? So, I had to just stop. My priorities were out-of-whack and maladaptive… and unfair.
So, after a three month dating hiatus.. I am back on the scene – but this time it is different. I can’t exactly explain it… I even went out with a bald guy and really liked him. But I feel more aware… and okay. And ready. And, back of the mentality that dating should be, and is, fun. As are many, many other things in life.
